Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Roads: 2015 in Review

It’s been awhile (I always say that), and a lot has happened in the past 365 days.


As has been my tradition for the past seven years, I like to take a moment to share what I’ve learned this past year for, at the very least, my personal amusement and benefit.

Because it was the year of the Hoverboard (real hoverboards, not this stickless Segway nonsense), I will use none other than Back to the Future gifs to aid in my reviewing of the year.

2015 in Review:

1. I ushered in the new year celebrating one year of full-time with my current employer, and starting a 401k like a real adult.


2. I finally saw every episode from all ten seasons of Friends. That was most of my January, February, and March. No I don’t regret it.

3. Because sometimes you get coffee with a dear friend at 8 at night, only to have to move to a little bar to purely continue on the conversation.

4. To celebrate turning 25, I took the day off of work, and spent the day and weekend with Z.

5. I paid off the last of my student loans. It still doesn’t even feel real.


6. I helped market and costume design a Shakespeare show and didn’t die.

7. I road tripped through South Dakota with one of my closest friends and we didn’t die.


8. I saw Mount Rushmore, Devil’s Tower (one of my favorite places from our trip), Yellowstone National Park (which can be done in one day), and the Oregon Coast all for the first time.

9. The Oregon Coast is beautiful and I can’t wait to return.

10. Had the best coffee in the Seattle area once again…and it didn’t disappoint.

11. Saw the gum wall before they cleaned it up – I call that an accomplishment.


12. No matter where we are, however many cities or states away, we can pick things up right where we left them. I learned that with countless friends this year, and I look forward to embracing that knowledge in the coming year.

13. October 21, 2015 was literally the best date (night) ever.


14. I (finally) moved out of my parents’ house, and into my first grown-up place. It has down wonders for mine and my parents’ relationship.

15. Family is important – especially the people that become your family.


16. Star Wars. Still sorting out my feelings.


17. It is possible to go ice skating and not fall down.

18. Christmas 2015 – the year I got excited over kitchen appliances…and an R2D2 scarf from my new roomie.


19. Z gave me one of the best Christmas gifts of my life. This gift took time, heart, and was put together with love. Something he shows me everyday, and that I’m going to try and show better myself to him and everyone else in 2016.


To 2016 – I have a good feeling about about this one.


The Shoe






#24: My First Road Trip, or The Twenty Something’s Contemplative Journey, Part 1

It started out as a crazy idea, the kind that you blurt out of your mouth before your brain’s common sense kicks in and keeps you from saying things like “I love you” on the first date.

static1.squarespace static1.squarespace-1

We were driving in the car, it came up, and without really thinking extensively about it I merely suggested it.

My dear college friend and former roommate K had told me several months prior to this conversation that she had decided to move back to her home state in the Pacific Northwest to be close to her family. At first my reaction, and several of my friend’s reactions were as follows:


It may have looked like anger, but it deep down it was really more this:


Ultimately, I completely understood her decision and was supportive 100% – which led to us driving downtown one day and me casually asking when she was heading out West, which led to me asking if she needed any help – and her wondering if I would be down for a road trip. I quickly calculated how much vacation time I had left (because, you know – adult and full-time job stuffs), and enthusiastically agreed it was a splendid idea.

Suddenly, her move was something to be celebrated, and we got cracking on our plans.


Which leads us to day one of our trip. I had a brand new and compact suitcase, that possessed only the bare essentials (my Backstreet Boys tour shirt and my I “less than three” Star Wars shirts, obviously) tightly rolled up in little fabric crepes and burritos I had lovingly created at 5 in the morning. I had prepped myself – we had booked hotels, I had planned for all kinds of weather, and my bladder was prepared for many hours between rest stops.

Our journey was going to take us four days and 2,000 plus miles across country. Because we weren’t just moving K, but making fun memories that we will keep with us always, we were also going to hit up national monuments and memorials (note: there is a difference) along the way. The worst day of driving would be Day 1, going from the beloved Dairy State to Rapid City, South Dakota. Give or take – 12 hours of driving. Thank God for comfy, stretchy, oh-so-wonderful leggings.


We. Were. Ready.

Here begins the (hopefully) interesting written account of our cross-country adventure. Over the next few weeks, I will go into detail about what each day shared with us, as well as things I learned from a traveling standpoint as well as things I learned about myself as a person. 


Day 1 – 6:30 a.m. – Friday – Dairy State

K hugged her roommates (her second family for the past four years post college), I settled into the driver’s seat, plugged in my Epic Road Trip playlist, began the Lindsey Stirling, and we were off.


(This happened later. Much later.)

K had me start driving because since she was moving from the state she had called home for the past eight years and saying an extended “see you later” to the countless friends (let’s be real here – the girl seriously has a colony that is her fan club) she had made during that time, it was understandable there might be some of those things called emotions during the first leg of our journey.

However, spirits were kept rather high. We were making excellent time, after an hour or so we arrived to the singing-along portion of the playlist, and chatted and caught up on things that happened in our lives since the last time we saw each other (which had literally been two days prior). We crossed the mighty Miss a sip, and before we knew it we were nearing the halfway mark of Day 1 of our travels.


Day 1 – Around 1:00 p.m. – Somewhere in Minnesota

We talked about a full-range of subjects: life, favorite memories, things that happened to us in the past few weeks, and yes – even boys. I was enjoying the drive. K and I never seemed to have trouble with making conversation, and when it was silent it was never awkward, simply a pause or break in conversation. Driving was going great, we were still making excellent time, and suddenly the speed limit was legally 80 mph and I may have pretended we had a DeLorean for a brief moment:


Then I remembered we had a ’99 Taurus loaded down with my dear friend’s belongings and rejoined the slow lane.

Day 1 – Around 2:30 p.m. – ???

We had agreed upon stopping in Sioux Falls, SD for gas and to stretch our legs, as well as switch positions with driving. However, we hadn’t seen any major cities for awhile, and we were debating if we were still in Minnesota or had somehow entered South Dakota without even realizing it. On top of that, our amazingly smart and highly expensive location finders (read: mobile phones) were receiving no signal.

Coming upon a rest area was a Godsend, and we found out we were about an hour into South Dakota via a bulletin board map with a lovingly YOU ARE HERE scribbled above our location in Sharpie marker.

Apparently, South Dakota doesn’t like to welcome you to their state.

And – to be honest – for good reason. Now, this is not to come across as disdain for the state of South Dakota. They grow a lot of crops that help feed the rest of the country, and they also house a booming tourism industry and economy in Rapid City due to Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and other exciting area attractions.

However, with all that said, getting to Rapid City is the least interesting trek you will ever make.

The scenery you experience will be as follows:

1) Flat farm land.
2) The occasional optimistic several-hundred-acre sunflower fields (if you are traveling during the right time of year)
and (finally)
3) Exciting billboards for WALL DRUG, advertising it is only 260 miles away and counting.

There is a reason the speed limit is 80 miles per hour, and sadly even the novelty of that begins to seem slow once the scenery becomes repetitive. And this is where our trip began to struggle.

For starters, K gets cranky when she is hungry. I get cranky when I’m tired. On top of that, something I had eaten earlier in the day was not agreeing with my stomach, and the only way to not focus on it was to close my eyes and sit in the fetal position in the passenger seat while K played some Spice Girls (which, was oddly soothing) and some Frank Sinatra. This also meant K had to power through an extra hour of driving, with no help from me.

rdj screaming

I have never been so relieved and excited to see so much consumerism and commercialism and name brand stores on top of each other when we reached the edge of Rapid City just shy of dusk.

Day 1 – 7:30 p.m. – Rapid City, South Dakota

We had made it in time to check into our hotel, grabbed dinner at Culver’s (K had her last frozen custard – for awhile – not too far from where Custer had his last stand…), and zoomed over to Mount Rushmore for the evening lighting ceremony.

We hurried up the steps – selfie sticks and tourists galore – and made our way to the outdoor amphitheater at the base of the mountain. A park ranger came out, talked about the history of the memorial, and then showed us a video that went into great detail. At the end, “America the Beautiful” was played, the four presidents’ faces were suddenly illuminated, and I was surrounded by the thousands of expensive camera flash being used by inexperienced photographers.


The initial part of the ceremony was informative, and interesting to say the least. It was also very cool to see Mount Rushmore in person, however it is true what they say – it is much smaller in person (spoiler alert?). However, you do feel a sense of pride at what each of those Presidents were able to bring to the table (even if some of what they brought wound up screwing over other people – more on that later).

The best part of the evening though was when they invited current and past service members to the stage to assist with the flag lowering portion of the ceremony. The stage was filled with over a hundred people, and it was great to thank them in such a prestigious and memorable place.

After the ceremony finished, everyone scurried to get to their car or the gift shop. K and I sat for awhile, in no rush to be anywhere, and simply stared at the faces of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln. That was one of my favorite moments of the trip: sitting in 50 degree weather just passed sunset, bundled in a sweatshirt, swatting at mosquitos, and looking up at something that has become extremely iconic in the States.

(The fact National Treasure 2 had also been filmed at this location also had some merit, I admit it.)

With a quick swing into the gift shop, nabbing some postcards since our photos hadn’t turned out great (partially due to the fact Kristen’s camera and my phone were dead), we headed back to our hotel, where we nosedived into the most luxurious bed of beds.


Seriously, I felt like I was laying a firm, yet very fluffy cloud and my blanket was another fluffy yet warm cloud. (It could have also been the fact that after 12 + hours of driving in 90 degree plus heat across South Dakota, I could have tumbled onto any surface and deemed it “cloud-like” and “the best bed ever.”)

As I shut my eyes to go to sleep, I reflected over the past day on the following thoughts and things I had learned:

1) Always leave with a full tank of gas. Always. On that note, make sure your phone is completely charged every morning as well. (#commonsense)

2) Make sure you have a playlist filled with variety so it can appease both drivers, as well as different songs for different moods along the journey.

3) Check your map stash before you leave and make sure you have one for each state you are driving through. Phones will not always work. (#morecommonsense)

4) Bring snacks and stay hydrated. Don’t drink too much – the rest stops are spaced greatly apart – but bring water or some Gatorade to keep you from getting headaches.

and finally…

5) If you are traveling 12 + hours by car in one day, be kind to yourself and upgrade to a nice hotel. Your body will thank you, and you will be ready to tackle driving again the next day completely refreshed.

Stay tuned for Day 2 – This Means Something, WY!


The Shoe


My Year in Review: 2014

There has been some debate lately about the year in reviews Facebook has been posting on countless Facebook users’ feeds this week. Reviewing one’s year has seemed to be a trend for 2014, and even WordPress emailed me a beautifully designed stats sheet sharing information about how my blog did this year.

However, and not to brag, but I have been reviewing my past year since 2008. I started doing so because my 2008 had seen a lot of changes, and around New Year’s Eve I needed to focus on the positive. In 2008 I had graduated high school, received my first kiss, started college, had my first boyfriend and ultimately my first break up. Days after, and hours before midnight, I took to Facebook, created a new note, and started pouring my heart and soul into everything I had learned that past year.


I have continued the tradition since then (with the minor exception of making the move to WordPress), and some years have been equally hard to focus on the positive while others have been hard to write anything down for because the year was overall relatively great!

2014 was an interesting one. I won’t sugarcoat it-it was at times a very rough year. When it was rough, it was rough…but when it was good, it was truly, wonderfully, incredibly, good. So without further commentary, I give the mixed bag that was my 2014:

1) I started my first official “big kid” job in January, on the second.

2) Word of advice? Try to start jobs on the first, not the second if you can, because sometimes this means you have to wait an extra month before those pretty adult things called benefits kick in.

3) Benefits, in case you were in the dark like I was, are these wonderful things that help you survive as an adult in the real world. Sadly, I didn’t quite get how insurance and 401ks worked because for some reason, How to Be a Competent Adult In the Real World is not a course you can take at any college or university-you just have to learn at some point.

Nick Miller too much respons

4) I went sledding for the first time in years. It was magical, and beautiful, and entirely fun. It was lightly snowing, we had soup to keep our bellies warm, and I was surrounded by friends that loved me and were in love with each other and life. I took a moment to treasure the moment mentally, because I knew deep down the moment wouldn’t last forever.

5) In spring, Z and I trekked to Seattle to visit some old college friends.

6) With some college friends, even being divided by several states can’t divide your friendship.

7) Washington state has mountains, forests, coast, and ocean. And copious amounts of good coffee.

8) Don’t drive to Vancouver, BC, Canada during rush hour on a Friday whilst with a full bladder. Just don’t do it. Trust me.


9) Speaking of downtown Vancouver, it is…interesting. Memorable to say the least.

10) Z and I were able to see the sun set and the moon rise simultaneously from our tiny airplane windows as we flew around dusk. It was incredible.

11) On a side note, Z and I celebrated 5 years together in December. We didn’t celebrate on our actual anniversary, and instead commemorated after Christmas. He cooked me a delicious dinner, and we also went to the movies for cheap. We also binge-watched White Collar while drinking white wine. Ladies and gents, this is romance to us-and I wouldn’t have it any other way.


12) Relationships are hard work. Don’t let anyone else tell you differently. Even if you have one of the best, healthiest, and most loving partners on the planet, there will still be tough times. Working through those tough times with them however, is worth it and extremely rewarding.

13) Speaking of relationships, Z could have very well saved my grandma. He was in the right place at the right time, and I am can’t express how grateful I am for what he did.

14) Life is short, and in seconds everything can change. Cherish and love those near to you. Now every time I see my grandparents, I always say “I love you” and I hug them a little too long. They are okay with that.

15) Luke Bryan talked to me. It wasn’t that cool.

16) Motley Crue payed my brand new laptop. True story. No, really, I’m not kidding.

gasp barney

17) Confession: I did not stand up in a wedding party nor did I attend a single wedding this year as a guest…and I enjoyed it. The last time this happened was seven years ago. That is not to say I hate going to weddings or standing up in them. I just also like saving money. Which brings me to my next point.

18) I paid off one more of my school loans last week. 2 down, one to go. I can’t express how excited that makes me.

Nick Miller goofy 2

19) I had a traditional Labor Day for the first time in years. We picnicked by the lake, flew kites, and road bikes in the beautiful tame sunshine. It was wonderful and relaxing, and just what I needed.

21) Working full-time in the private (creative) sector is hard work.

22) I would never have survived my first year at my new job with my wonderful co-workers. Seriously. They are beyond great.

23) I entered a competition during the summer. A local theater was seeking monologues on the theme of banned books for their monologue festival in 2015, and I wrote something. It ultimately didn’t get picked…but it was apparently a finalist.

Jessica Day feels nothing

24) I also had my first “paid” freelanced writing gig go extremely well.

25) My blog surpassed 4,000 views of all time and features over 40 followers.

26) These last three points have helped me realize that my writing doesn’t (always) suck. So thank you, to everyone, for reading anything I have ever written, and for uttering those two simple words, “It’s good.” Really. Thank you.

meryl streep life worth living

2015 is right around the corner, and I am very excited to see what this year brings. No trips planned (yet), and the entire year is like a beautiful, fresh, blank space (see what I did there) ready to be filled with memories. I can’t wait to see what those memories, lessons, and stories will be.

Happy New Year, to you and yours

The Shoe

lea michele new years eve

The Last Five Years: A Love Letter from A to Z

Spoiler Alert: I am branching out from my usual writing today to dedicate this following piece to someone of major significance today. The following post will contain the words ‘love’ and ‘relationships’ more times than some individuals will like, overtly affectionate phrases, and a semi-in-depth look at me and my significant other. To aid in my tale, I will be using GIFs featuring famous couples from film and television, including some of my all-time favorite OTPs (One True Pairings for you folks playing at home). If at any point you feel uncomfortable with this post, please feel free to stop reading and click away as I textually ramble on. 🙂


Dear Z (and everyone else reading this),

Today is December 17th. If you recall, six years ago this was approximately four days after we had just broken up. I remember the date because we broke up on your birthday. You initiated, while I held a Tupperware container filled with lemon poppyseed muffins-your favorite, one of the few things I knew about you at that point. It was also the first time I had ever written you a letter.


In my case, lemonade into lemons and back into lemon poppyseed muffins. But I digress.

Five years ago today, there was snow on the ground but it was oddly warm. Finals at school were just finishing up, and we were walking to Subway for dinner. It was the first time I wore your dark red sweatshirt (the one that now takes residence in my closet). We picked up some pre-dinner hot cocoas, and I can literally pinpoint on a Google map the moment everything changed-I was in mid sentence one second, and the exact next one you were kissing me.


In this particular scenario, I was more like Flynn. Which makes this story even better. 🙂

At that point, I was amazed at how much had changed in one year.
Now as I sit here and write this, I’m amazed at how much has changed in the five years since.

The first six months we were inseparable, which led to driving our roommates and close friends absolutely nuts. In all honesty, we didn’t notice or we did but didn’t care. That sounds callous, but it’s true. I’ve seen it happen with other friends and their significant others and we weren’t any different. We walked around with big goofy grins on our faces, walked each other to every single class no matter how inconvenient, and made single friends and established couples feel awkward with our constant affections of hand-holding, hugging, and making eyes at each other.


Regina is totally right. They totally make eyes at each other.

We felt this infallible certainty that we were meant to be together, we chose a song to be ours, and you boldly stated you could see us getting married.


This was also before I appreciated Firefly, but clearly the ideal marriage. Wash and Zoe, and Serenity never happened.

And then…graduation happened and so did reality.

is this real life

For the past five years, 4.5 of those years have been spent apart. You in one city, and I in another. Divided by over 100 miles and two hours, we have crammed the in-person aspects of our relationship in tiny windows of time resembling not-long-enough weekends. To say the least, this has lead to a very unique dynamic of our relationship. Our time together is limited and precious, and some friends feel alienated, hurt, or confused when we don’t want to spend time with them while we are together. Others scoff as we have labeled this a “long distance” courtship, because we haven’t had to endure being states or countries apart. We’ve had to balance our conflicting schedules (school, the inconsistencies of retail, and working on weekends), we’ve had to work around living arrangements due to not having our own places, and above all, we have had to answer the question “So when are you guys getting engaged?” from countless friends, co-workers, family members, clients, pastors, and even random strangers.


No commentary necessary.

We’ve been asked that question so many times that if I received a dollar for every time either of us were approached with that question we would have enough money to pay off my loans, a down payment on a house, and enough left over for a month long venture around the world.


For the past five years, our relationship and where it is headed has been at the fore front of many conversations. Where some couples when dating can merely sit next to each other on a couch and binge watch Netflix when they see each other every night, we have to cram the following into 48 hours (and less if we exclude the hours we spend sleeping): every conversation we started while apart over the phone but decided was better discussed in person, life goals and aspirations, basic and general dating questions such as “how many kids you want?”, “Are you a dog person?”, or “Where do you want to live someday?”, learning about each other from basic observation (Pet peevs: Feet on pillows-me and excess hair on my hairbrush-him), and talking about the big huge M word (money) and the even bigger huge M word (marriage).

Jessica Day is a big deal

Most couples discuss these things over the course of a month or two. We get a weekend. Or two. If we are lucky.

For the past five years, we have certainly learned a lot about each other. You like to cook, and I like to do laundry. We both can find the humor in Six Days, Seven Nights, and have a vast array of inside jokes (well, not only). We have traveled together, to the mountains in Colorado to the cherry blossoms of D.C. We have survived camping during an awful thunderstorm and a huge fight over a water ride. I’ve edited your Facebook posts for grammatical inaccuracies and you’ve attempted to help me understand the basics of math.

We’ve critiqued each other, which has led us to some of our best work-after our pride was slightly damaged because of how much each other’s opinion means to the other. We have gone clothes shopping together, where you have encouraged me to spend money and will honestly tell me if something doesn’t look good-or if it does. We’ve gone grocery shopping together, and have both taken turns telling the other one to put things back on the shelf because “we don’t need it.” You’ve pushed me because you’ve seen my potential, and I’ve challenged you on more than one occasion, making us equals and well-matched when it comes to our feisty spirits.


For the past five years, we have definitely been there for each other. I was there for you when you graduated, and all the emotional baggage that came with. You returned the favor two years later, proudly looking on as I walked across that stage, and stood by me when I went through my own rough patch after graduation.

The Holiday, low point

We’ve been there for each other through unemployment, the uncertain future of business ventures, job rejections in the form of email, failed job interviews, and sharing a mutual understanding of the hell that can be working retail. We’ve been there for each other at funerals and at hospitals where the lives of loved ones were uncertain or being remembered. We have been there for each other as we have double teamed babysitting for friends and their kids, and have learned just how intense children can be. We’ve been there for each other for birthdays and anniversaries, taking turns picking up the tab on dinners and vacations pending on who was more financially stable at the time. We’ve been there for each other through receding hairlines and graying strands, through weight gain and loss. We’ve even been there for each other when we weren’t sure about our future, and that is a pretty big-and awesome-thing.


For the past five years, if there is one thing I have learned is that I have a friend in you and you in I. The past five years have been far from easy, and I’m sure life will only throw more curveballs the older we get. However, the past five years have also been filled with countless hours and moments of sheer joy, and I honestly cannot find the right words to express just how grateful I am for it all.

I am so grateful for the hours of laughter to the point of being out of breath, the respect and admiration that has grown for each other, the million little things we do to say “I love you,” the complete honesty and bluntness we bring to every hefty conversation, the moments we can just revel in each other’s company, the hugs that feel like home, every single car ride no matter how many times we debate the accuracy of the GPS, the frank talks about our deepest fears and faith, our trips to Barnes and Noble when caffeine pulsates through our veins and our ideas take flight, and every single moment where we communicate with our eyes with knowing glances or raised eyebrows-every single of these millions of moments I am so grateful for and glad to have been able to share with you.


Too often I look forward, wondering how this will all turn out. Some may say after reading this I have spent too much time looking back. No matter which direction, I just want you to know how much I love you and how no matter what happens, I am beyond blessed to have you in my life now-as my boyfriend yes, but more importantly as a friend.


Today I was talking with a friend, and she flat out told me this:

“He’s a good one. He really is. Don’t lose him.”

I think too often I don’t appreciate you or what we have, and what’s good and great about us can get lost in the everyday nonsense that we let take over our lives. You really are a rarity among men, and I want to brag about that to the masses. Thus the reason for this piece. No, not to rub it in someone’s single face that I have an awesome boyfriend. And no, this is not to be construed as a major outcry for some overpriced finger jewelry.

This is simply a girl telling a guy that she still really likes him, and she just can’t keep it to herself.


Happy Anniversary Z. I love you. Lotza. 😉


Your Shoe